Minding our Emotional Blood Sugar

Fully immersed in being 8 months pregnant and having blow ups and stressful days...work being the most challenging place to be a pregnant being. Had a doozy of a day yesterday so thought blog writing would support my angst.

In the midst of this massive shift in everything; identity, relationships etc. life and work continue to go on around me at a seemingly overwhelming pace for me. What I am learning is that sometimes, big life shifts like pregnancy shake up our grounding enough that we look at ways we are moving through life that aren't working for us. The stress of the change either pushes us in the direction of relying on old habits, old beliefs and old negative self talk (which I have been doing of late) -OR- it pushes us more deeply in the direction of our greater truth and authenticity (where my intention is to head).

It isn't just me going thru these shifts so maybe there is something in the stars right now. It seems like many of my close friends are also having big shifts in their lives; be it around romantic relationships, work relationships, family dynamics...thank god for self aware friends who get the process of change and growth and getting stuck sometimes. It was great to talk to a very very old friend and see how we had both been on "auto pilot" thinking we didn't need to be mindful of all the things we have learned in the course of our lives to keep our lives grounded, happy and fulfilling.

I said, "we aren't taking our emotional insulin". I explained to her that I had a glucose monitor to check my insulin after I eat and it had become sort of enjoyable. I was curious and thoughtful about what I was eating and curious the impact what I ate was having on my overall physiology. It occurred to both of us that same idea applied to the state of change we were in.... we needed to be monitoring our emotional blood sugar in the same way.

Of course, I have this added layer of pregnancy hormones that I could use as an excuse for why emotional presence has gone out the door but as a spiritual teacher told me recently...the truth of pregnancy hormones have been my greatest teacher and put me smack in the middle of challenging all the ways I am not living authentically and haven't been for quite some time. Pregnancy has been the ultimate in "in-the-moment" raw authenticity and the experience has made it intolerable for me to not be living in my softness, embodied femininity and in a vocation and community that support these. My teacher challenged me to look at all the ways, however, that I am afraid to live authentically and make friends with this fear first. I suspect on some level this is what many of us do in the midst of change...change evokes fear and an emotional response to it (anger, judgement, sadness). But staying present to the fear and range of responses to it instead of reacting is the challenge for me and my greatest intention.

But how to do that? Answer: take our emotional insulin! Practice I LOVE ME, practice practice practice remaining in open-hearted compassion for self and other thru daily meditation, disconnect from old negative beliefs, excercise, be in nature, focus on gratitude and joy(play) and maybe, just maybe, leave a situation that doesn't lend itself to our living in truth. In all of this, support one another as we practice each of these again and again and again.

Supporting you in your truth,
Traci